OH Man!

Is he growing!! This little man has me so wrapped around his sweet little finger I can hardly breathe. He's my baby and I'll never, never let him grow up. Ever. And that's final.

So stop growing already you beautiful little boy!
If I could have ten more just exactly like you...
OH be still my heart. Please excuse me. I have to go kiss my baby now. And breathe in his baby smell. And pretend that he'll never, ever grow up and move away.

Running...

Do you ever have so much to say that you can't find the words to say anything at all? Well that's me. Right now. Life is busy and I'm just trying to keep up.

I think these pictures sum it up nicely. I'll call this one "insanity in motion" or maybe just "woman". Often I think they're one and the same.

By the way, I love it when my husband throws maturity to the wind and acts silly with me! Any mental health I claim is a direct result of his influence.

Because I'm random and totally ok with that, here is a really fun show to watch. It's the new Masterpiece Theatre Sherlock Holmes series and it's really good! An exciting, clean mystery is not so easy to find these days. Enjoy!

Friday night

Brent took Tyler to his first car show tonight. For the record, my little man lives and breathes for anything on four wheels. So I'm waiting up.. because even though I know he'll be asleep when Brent carries him in from the car, I just have to hear how it went. How much Ty loved it. I've been smiling all night just thinking about it.

My favorite quote from Conference this past weekend;

"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication"

Leonardo DaVinci

And who says your pictures have to match your words? I'm so not into that. I dusted off my camera today after a month long hiatus.. because the afternoon light was pretty.

goodbye summer!

Not sure if I'm sad or glad to see the summer end. A little of both I guess.. It's been too long since I've posted to really catch up but here's my best effort..

• Owen is now pounding down rice cereal like a champ
• I'm caffeine free for five days and counting
• Lauren started kindergarten. We've had both good days and bad
• I'm currently feeling guilty for not homeschooling
• I painted my fingernails today for the first time in forever
• That has absolutely nothing to do with anything
• Brent bought me a bike for our ten year anniversary
• I've ridden it approximately once since I got it three weeks ago
• I really want to ride it but who the heck has time for bike riding anyway!?

And with that I'll say goodbye.

Forgiveness: My Burden Was Made Light

Enjoy, friends. I know I did.

perspective

I woke up this morning and did the following:

changed the baby, fed the baby, bathed the baby

thought about reading my scriptures

broke up a fight instead

fed the rest of the kids

cleaned up the mess

twice.

dressed everybody

put two kids in time out

"encouraged" everybody to do their chores

three hundred times over

lost my temper

apologized

thought about exercising

folded laundry instead

fed myself

didn't dress myself or take a shower

sat down to work on a project

just in time for the baby to wake up

changed the baby, fed the baby....

And I thought about something Oliver Wendell Holmes said: "Many people die with their music still in them. Why is this so? Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out."

I wonder about this as I see my sketch pad lying empty. And then think to myself.. right now my music is raising my children. I'm not "getting ready to live" as Mr. Holmes said, because I'm too busy in the middle of it!

And I hunger for free time like a starving woman sometimes.. but in the end they need me. Always urgently and always now. So I give.. and another wall in my heart breaks down. And I'm one step closer to my Savior. I suppose this is called "giving yourself to God". And it's what I want. It's just so much harder than I ever thought it would be!

black and white

Is it bad blog etiquette to delete some random, crazy post you wrote as a sleep deprived, lactating, hormonal mess? Umm.. sorry I said lactating. And hormonal. But hey, it is what it is. So if you read my previous post.. sorry for the drama. It happens to me sometimes and no, I'm not medicating. But I probably should be.

Let's just skip to the photography question shall we? So there's this lady who takes the prettiest pictures and she always shoots directly into the setting sun. Her pictures look so soft and, and.. ethereal. But when I try it, the sun reflecting off my lens overexposes everything. I had to fix the light levels on all these pictures, but that said, I was still pleased with the result. Although they look nothing like hers.

And that's a fake knife Ty's wielding! No sister's were hurt in the shooting of these pictures. Just chased around a lot. All in good fun right?

Wednesday evening thought

I just wrote this really long post on pride. Not the I'm proud of my kids kind of pride. Rather the enmity toward God kind of pride. And then I thought to myself "who wants to hear me blathering on and on? I'm so prideful." And I deleted it.

So to heck with my deep thoughts. They weren't coming out right anyway.
Here's some more pictures of my baby.
Happy Wednesday everyone.

Have mercy already!!

He's growing too fast. Way, way too fast.

My Garden

I don't think I've ever mentioned that my mom was a fabulous gardener. At one point she had nearly a quarter acre planted in fruit trees, squash, melons, tomatoes, and such.
I always imagined my life would be similar. A small town somewhere. A country house with a wrap around porch. Lots of land to garden and maybe raise a beef cow on each summer.
I never imagined raising five children in a highly metropolitan area. In one tiny apartment with a community yard we share with a hundred other people. Instead of mountains we have the beach nearby. Instead of homemade tree houses we have spotless, city maintained "play structures".
But I do love the beach. And play structures can be really fun. As you well know, life seldom turns out like we imagine. We've had both trials and blessing I couldn't have predicted. And great lessons learned while in the midst of both.
And I can still be a gardener of sorts. Instead of flowers I'm raising children. Teaching them modesty and integrity. How to work hard and appreciate the blessings God grants them. It's infinitely more challenging than raising tomatoes.

I still think about my Mom's garden sometimes. And maybe someday when the children are grown..

For now, I am content. Who has time for that other garden nonsense anyway? I'm growing children and mine want to go to the beach.

A house full

Except that they all stayed in a hotel. But theoretically.. in the daytime anyway, we had a house full. They came for O's blessing and it was such a nice weekend! Everybody left too soon and in the end, it just left me wanting more.

More family.. more beach days..
more time together.
This picture makes me laugh. It's my sister and I with all of our kids. From the back you really can't tell the two of us apart. Come to think of it, you can't really tell us apart from the front either! I love how it messes with our kids heads. See how I am? I enjoy the simple pleasures in life. You know.. cool sand on my feet, a salty ocean breeze.. and messing with my kids heads whenever possible.

windows to the soul..

In case you haven't noticed, I've been messing around with portraits lately. Trying to get closer and closer and closer! Which is hard when your kids are so darned wiggly. And start crying and dodging and beating themselves about the head as soon as they see your camera. *sigh*

I just love those super shiny eyes. And Owen's are especially fun to look at. They're just.. well, huge really. And so expressive. He's smiling and laughing now which completely slays me. I get nothing done when he flashes me those eyes and starts flirting. The kid is merciless. And I absolutely love it!!

red, white, and blue

Since I seem to have no life other than washing, teaching, cleaning up after, and obsessing over my children, (oh.. and loving them of course.. lots of that) this was the best I could do for the holiday. A little red, white and blue to celebrate this glorious 4th of July.

There is something about the word freedom that pulls at the very center of my heart. I don't feel eloquent enough to do it justice. I love my God and I love living in a country where I'm free to worship Him however I choose. I'm just thankful.. so very, very thankful...

Owen

We blessed Owen this past weekend. Such an awesome experience! It's like getting a little glimpse into the man he'll be someday.

So here's to you Little Man. I don't think we could love you anymore!
Ok, maybe just a little bit more once you start sleeping through the night.
I'm addicted to these youtube videos the Church puts out. They are so good and make me cry nearly every time. In a warm, fuzzy kind of way.
Motherhood: An Eternal Partnership with God

My kid's Dad..

I know it's sentimental. Ok.. totally, disgustingly mushy.. and I'm sorry. Really I am.

But I wanted to post some of my favorite pictures.

And a poem. He'll tease me about this. I know it. But he'll also smile later when he thinks about it.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I love thee to the level of every day's

Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;

I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love with a passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints, I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life! and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

EBB

Happy Father's Day Punk. I love you!

And if you tease me.. I'll be even mushier next year.

Tell me a story..

Honestly, I can't really remember what the story was about. I was having too much fun watching her tell it.

I remember cheese eating dragons and something about bubbles.

Main characters: somebody named "Whatever", "Dum Dum", and Philip.. I think.

Whatever her story was... I can promise you..

it was very, very

Dramatic.

Little Man is three

The older he grows the more I see how very different he is from his sisters. I'm learning to speak his language. He talks so much less. Grunts and growls mostly. And car noises. Lots of those. I can't keep his fingernails clean for the life of me and only make him take a bath a couple of times a week. With him I'm learning to pick my battles.

But he makes the best dinosaur noises in the world and will play with me anytime, anywhere. His kisses, although rarely given without trickery, melt my heart to pieces and I could listen to him laugh for the rest of my life and be perfectly content.
I'm learning that little boys are determined, playful, active, little things. And this little guy is especially so. He thinks his Daddy is the most incredible person in the world and grieves every morning when he leaves for work.
Then celebrates every night upon his return. Happiness in this life is deeply tied to hot wheels, bikes, dinosaurs and the timely return of his daddy. Here's to another year little guy. I can't wait to learn what you'll teach me next.

camera shy

My kids have experienced over kill with my camera.

This is the face he gives me now.
Aww... come on honey! Just smile for me! Not even a little one?
Okay. Fine then.. I'll move on to my next victim.. ahem, I mean model. He can't run away.
Hello Angel Baby. Oh.. did I wake you? Don't mind me. I just want to take your picture.
Oh come on! Six weeks old and he gives me the hand. This kid is just like his brother!