Just seconds after his birth she laid him on my stomach and asked me if it was anything like the first time. And I wasn't sure what to say. The first time was glorious and new. I was full of awe and felt closer to God than I ever had before. But also overwhelmed and uncertain. Afraid of not being strong or wise enough to give this little person all that they would need.
No, of course this wasn't like the first time. I now know with certainty I'm not strong or wise enough. But I also know it doesn't matter. I have enough. I left the fear and uncertainty somewhere in my twenties, and now I just give what I have. Is the sense of awe still there? That feeling of nearness to God on the day Owen was born? Absolutely! Everything about it was absolutely right. As I watched my five children on the day Owen came home, the feeling of Joy was unmistakeable. We need him and he needs us.