I took Abbey with me to the store the other day. We saw a woman there with a severe disability struggling to lift a gallon of milk into the basket of her scooter. Among other things, she couldn't stand upright and had also lost the use of her hands. I hesitated to offer help, unsure if I would offend her. For whatever reason, drawing attention to someone's disability can be a little scary for me. This doesn't appear to be true for Abbey. Before I could stop her, Abbey marched right up to the woman and asked her WHY she couldn't stand up? And why did her hands look like that? There have been many times in Abbey's life I've wished she had a mute button, or at least some way I could edit her directness. I've come to the conclusion that, well... there just isn't. She thinks therefore she says. So my current approach is just to sit back and watch. Eventually her life experience will teach her what is appropriate and what isn't. And you know, the funny thing is, people usually respond really well to her! She's not asking you about that wide gap between your front teeth to be mean. She just recognizes it as different and wants to know "why". This woman at the store was so sweet in her response that I just wanted to hug her! She sincerely thanked Abbey for asking. And then they had a wonderful conversation about what happened in her life to make her this way. She had been healthy and strong until just a few years ago when she got this disease. Abbey had several ideas that might make her life easier, two of which included a maid and a personal shopping assistant. I left the store with a greater appreciation for my daughter. She is brave and strong, and will accomplish so much if she can hang on to that! I'm also grateful for that amazing woman at the store. Each day we have to spend with our loved ones is a gift! Life can change in a moment and so I'm grateful for the blessings of today.
8 comments:
Such a beautiful and wonderful post. I remember times in my life that you have been as direct as you describe Abbey to be--she gets it from you and I know she will hone in to what is appropriate and necessary as she grows and mature. What a beautiful trait you have passed on to her!!
Oh, I love this. Abbey is so sweet. Isn't it funny that sometimes we think we teach them....and of course it's quite the reverse.
I love reading your blog. I always want to be a better mother, wife, woman after reading it. You are an Amazing woman and such a GREAT example to everyone. I sure love you guys.
Perfect picture of Abbey. Thank you for sharing this post Niki. I, like you, would have hesitated. We shouldn't. Thank you Abbey for showing the way. And I second every tribute to you, Niki, for the mothering you teach me. You're a special lady.
I had a roommate like Abbey, who said whatever came into her mind to anyone. At first it embarrassed me to be with her, but I learned a lot from her about just being open and loving people and not caring what everyone thought. Isn't wonderful to learn from your children?
Our children teach us so much! Abbey is so sweet--she stopped me at church today to give me a big hug. Adorable picture, too!
Wow Niki you have a way with words! It's not the first time I read one of your posts and get all teary! You should write a book!!!! Love you and your family, miss you!
hey, I want to send you an invite to our blog, but I can't find your email anywhere. Will you send it to me? Thanks! Leah
leahmiller13@gmail.com
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